Found some more!

Matt Moose's Many Musings
Odd jottings of a mad moose.
 

 5/9/23

Library Thoughts.

A peaceful spacious sanctuary for thought and study Out of the blazing sun, surrounded by trees and town. Not been here since the mid 1980s To cram for school exams. Much has changed, seems more laid back.

Lofty dreams of self improvement occupy my mind; Life's been rough lately, I've taken some damage. I tend towards neglect and self harming when I'm broken. I'm grasping toward improved mental health.

Problems to solve: What do self care and self esteem at their best, look like?

Was a remark on an AA chat server earlier today really wisdom, that Too much emphasis on self leads to trouble (for them)?

Reminds me that non-self is a key Buddhist thing, Anattā – the self is an illusory construct - So maybe they're onto something, I admit it. I've been led astray by believing in a separate broken self. Again.

To serve others then, is that the way to break the ruminations? Who on earth needs my services? Who and where are they? What do they need? This is like defining the ideal client!

I'm so tired. The factory job is hot and noisy, The gardening work frustratingly weather dependent and hard to forward plan. I've had enough of both now.

Can I trust that life will guide me? Do I breathe it, or does it breathe me?

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4/9/23

The Love Grid!

It's a mental object I sometimes remember to invoke, when I feel I have more than sufficient feel-good resources, to bank somehow as an excess of personal wellbeing score.

The LoveGrid is a metaphorical wellbeing energy grid, connecting givers, requirers, some sort of mythical storage (do tell!), etc.

At least, it's a fun mental model to play with. You're welcome.

When I feel amazing enough, I try to remember to ether-bank a few of those good vibes for others to download, if they're ever feeling short of smiles.


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